Meet Mr Red
by ShiTiger
Summary: Continued from "An Icy Reunion." Agent Nigel and Buck Rockgut track down The Red Squirrel, but he has some tricks up his sleeve. Slash. Threesome suggested.


**Ch 1  
**

 _(Location: Central Park)_

"There he is." Buck focused his binoculars on a specific squirrel darting across park. It was mid-afternoon when the mammal had finally come out of hiding. The Red Squirrel's crimson tail flashed back and forth as he paused in the grass to glance around warily.

"What is he doing now?" Nigel resisted the urge to peer over Buck's shoulder. Red would notice the movement, and figure out he was being trailed - and they didn't want that.

"Hmmm... He just darted into the bushes next to a large oak tree. Let's move." The soldier slid across the grass, followed closely by the spy. They hid behind a tree which was near enough to have a clear view the bush, and waited. Lucky for them, Red had one very obvious weakness. A squirrel with his deep red coloring had a hard time hiding against the lush, green grass. It made him easy to spot once he'd left the safety of his tree.

The penguins watched as The Red Squirrel stuck his head out of the bush, peering around. His clawed fingers traced the trunk of the tree, before making a quick series of movements as if he were pressing buttons on a pin pad. The villain pulled back into the bush, and there was a brief flash of golden light. Moments later, a tall human male in a casual business suit stepped out from the other side of the tree. Adjusting his sleeves, the man rolled his shoulders back, and began to stroll casually through the park.

"Curious," Nigel commented aloud, noting that the human was glancing over his shoulder every few feet, as if expecting someone to be trailing him.

Buck tapped the other penguin on the shoulder as soon as the man turned away again, his copper-red hair slightly mussed from the breeze. Quickly, the pair slipped up to Red's hiding place. The soldier tensed in anticipation, before flinging himself bodily into the bush, leaving Nigel to keep a look-out for any suspicious activity. Moments later, Buck waddled out of the bush with a deep frown on his beak.

"No sign of him," the soldier announced, his red eyes scanning the landscape for any sign of their foe.

"How very odd. There is no chance that he could be hiding in the branches, as most of the leaves have already fallen," Nigel stated, gazing up at the bare limbs of the oak tree stretching out above them.

The penguins looked deep into each other's eyes, and sighed as one. "Trap door."

Buck scratched his head and went back into the bush to double check the area for clues. As he waited, Nigel leaned down to examine the area Red had been touching before his disappearance. It seemed like part of the regular tree trunk, but looks can be deceiving. Touching the trunk with his flipper, he jumped back as gold flashed from the bush next to him.

"What the..? This isn't right."

The penguin's green eyes widened as a stocky human stepped out of the bush, staring down at his body as if mesmerized by it. The man had dark crew-cut hair, and was wearing an army-style green tank top, camouflage pants, and combat boots. Reddish-brown eyes gazed down at the spy in shock.

"I'm a human?"

"It would appear so," Nigel stated, before thinking aloud to himself, "Hmmm... if Buck turned into a human, then the red-haired gentleman from before must have been The Red Squirrel. To think that he perfected that kind of technology under our beaks and kept it a secret..." The spy rubbed his chin and tapped the tree trunk again, diving into the bush.

Buck watched in amazement as a golden light flashed from the bush, followed by a loud, "I say! This is quite extraordinary." Another human, half a head taller than himself, stepped out from the around the other side of the tree. White hair, streaked with grey, framed his cheeks as Nigel examined the blue scarf draped loosely around his neck.

"Now what? Red's probably halfway across the city by now," Buck grumbled, thoughts immediately returning to their elusive foe.

"Actually, he's eating a hot dog over there." Nigel pointed toward the copper-haired man relaxing on a park bench with his back to them. Seconds later, the man got to his feet, tossing his garbage into the bin next to him, before joining the other humans on the semi-crowded walkway leading out of the park.

"He's on the move. On the plus side, we'll be able to blend in with the locals this way," the spy commented with a smirk, letting the shorter man lead the way.

* * *

They followed their mutual enemy through the crowded streets, stopping to duck into an alleyway as they watched him enter a tall office building. After a few minutes had passed, Nigel led the way across the street and into the building.

The lobby was empty when they stepped through the door. A blond human female was working at the receptionist's desk. Her blue eyes rose to lock on them before they could say a word. "You must be Mr. Rockgut and Mr. Guin. You're right on time. Mr. Red has been expecting you." The woman pulled out two plastic cards, each with an elaborate acorn symbol decorating the front. "These are your pass-cards. They will allow you to access Mr. Red's personal elevator. It goes straight to his office on the top floor."

Nigel took the cards, passing one to the American soldier at his side.

"Mr. Red cleared his schedule for the next two hours," the secretary informed them, pointing the pair in the direction of the elevators.

Buck led the way, muttering under his breath about potential traps. Nigel kept his comments to himself until they were inside the lift. True to The Red Squirrel's character, the private elevator was the only one sporting the acorn symbol identical to the one on the cards. The James Bond theme song began to play softly in the background as the doors closed, leaving the pair trapped as the lift began to rise.

"That squirrel knew we were following him the entire time," Buck grumbled, muscled arms crossed over his chest.

"It seems that way, but he'll have a hard time getting the drop on us both." Nigel eyed himself in the mirrored walls. "Quite an ingenious machine. I actually feel like a real human," the Brit commented aloud, running a hand through the grey streak in his snowy hair.

"Yeah," Buck admitted, settling his steeled gaze on the elevator doors.

* * *

The former penguins stepped out of the elevator and found themselves in a large, well-furnished office. Directly across from them, an imposing oaken desk was centered in front of a sizable bay window. To the right side of the desk, their target stood silently, staring at the city below through the translucent glass.

The businessman turned, barely acknowledging their presence as he leaned down to press a button on his desktop phone. "Ms. Katz, please send up the refreshments. That is all." Straightening, the copper-haired man loosened his tie, and smiled directly at them. Clearly, the former squirrel felt he was in full-control of the situation.

"We tracked you down, Red. You're coming with us," the soldier insisted.

The businessman's smile turned into a full-blown smirk as he settled himself against the edge of his desk. "I believe you meant to say that I let you track me down, Rockgut," Red mused, eyeing the pair across from him.

"When did you have time to do all of this, Red?" Buck grumbled, but there was a clear taint of curiosity in his gruff voice.

"You don't think I spent all those years holed up, do you?" The businessman straightened, gesturing for his adversaries to follow him to the more comfortable seating area on the other side of the office. Nigel and Buck settled onto the small couch, while Red perched on the edge of a chair.

"To the humans, I'm just a recluse inventor and savvy businessman. In fact, I bought this company years ago and it's been expanding across the globe. I could retire a very rich man if I chose to. And the best part is, the humans are completely under the assumption that I am one of their own kind."

"You became human, so you could swindle them?" Buck frowned, crossing his burly arms over his chest.

"I assure you, all my business dealings are completely legit. I tolerate nothing less. I perfected this body-changing technology after a great deal of trial and error. The first successful changes did not even include clothing." The businessman stood, skirting around the small table to tower over them with an inquisitive look on his face. Reaching out a hand, Red brushed his manicured nails over Buck's tight army shirt, before switching bodies to trail up the spy's chest. "Perfection - if I do say so myself."

"I designed it to modify based on an animal's brainwaves. It can key into your personality, and design a unique human body - complete with clothing." A soft hand lifted Nigel's chin, gently forcing him to gaze up into the brown eyes of his former lover. The redhead leaned down, stopping when their lips were only inches apart.

DING!

The businessman pulled back as the elevator chimed, and the doors opened. Stepping back smoothly, Mr. Red gestured for the receptionist to set the tray on the small table.

The former penguins watched the pair interact. Their curiosity rose as the blond woman brushed up against the businessman, releasing a low purr.

"That will be all, my dear. Thank you." The businessman reclaimed his seat as the stiletto-heeled woman left the room.

"She seemed unusually affectionate for a human," Nigel observed, reaching for the only tea cup on the table.

"The majority of my employees are former animals. Each was in need of a new life - a new purpose, so I provided them one," Red answered smoothly.

"You're forcing them to work for you, you mean," Buck grunted, shoving a piece of salmon sushi into his mouth.

Red merely raised an eyebrow at his lack of manners, before responding. "No. The change was voluntary. The employment, on the other hand – well, that was simply convenience. All my workers are in jobs that are suitable for them. I have had a few take their fake IDs and go searching for a new life for themselves outside of the city, but most choose to stay. New York is their home, even if they are in new bodies." The businessman sipped the foamed beverage in his coffee mug delicately, waiting for them to respond.

"That is... good to hear," Nigel commented, uncertain of how to breach their main issue. Red was still a criminal in the animal community. Penguins, like Nigel and Buck, had an obligation to bring him to justice.

"Cut the sweet talk, Red. You know why we're here," Buck scowled.

"You are here, Buck Rockgut, because I wanted you to be," Red cut in.

"We're here to bring you in," the American growled.

"On what charges?" the businessman questioned.

"You're penguin enemy number one! You have been for over 50 years!"

"I was in hiding for 50 years," the former-squirrel replied.

"I'm afraid the American is correct. Once you came out of hiding, you got back to your old tricks," Nigel interjected. "The acorn rocket…"

'I built and planted that years ago. It seemed only right to use it as a typical villain ruse after you came all the way to New York just to track me down, Nigel. Besides, I knew YOU would disarm the rocket."

"Private disarmed the rocket," Nigel countered.

"Ah yes, your adorable little nephew." A frown crossed Red's face. "I did not factor his team into the equation. I made sure to do that the next time."

"You made me betray my cause by brainwashing me into a sleeper agent!" Buck yelled, barely restraining himself from leaping off the couch to confront the other man head-on.

"Skipper's team eventually rescued you. Though, I made sure we had plenty of time to get reacquainted." The self-satisfied smirk was back on the redhead's face.

"Enough! Why are we here, Red?" Nigel sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat.

"I would have thought that was obvious." Red leaned back in his chair, and regarded the pair with an air of confidence. "You are here because I have a - proposal for you."

"A proposal?" the former penguins echoed.

"I am, for the most part, content with my human life. Despite the fake IDs and what-not for my employees, I run an honest business. My persona, Mr. Red, is quite well known for being an animal rights activist, as well as a generous donor for the New York Zoo. In short, I have everything I could ever want. Almost everything." Red eyed the pair with a grin.

Buck grumbled under his breath, before waving an arm at the Super-Secret Agent sitting next to him. "Why not just marry the Brit and be done with it? Your feelings for each other are obvious."

The spy and the businessman appeared equally shocked, as if they hadn't expected him, of all people, to notice.

Red's cheeks flushed the color of his chosen name, though he attempted to hide the revealing reaction by taking a deep swallow from his cup. "Yes, well..." The man cleared his throat, and reached down to set the mug on the table. There was a familiar glint in his amber eyes when he leaned back in his chair, his gaze shifting lazily between them. "I seek companionship - that much is true. But you both know how greedy I can be. Why have one old flame, when I can have two?"

There really wasn't much to say after that. Rather than force them to decide on the spot, the businessman insisted that each of them take the time they needed to make a final decision. Slender hands pressed into the small of their backs as the former villain escorted the pair to the elevator.

Buck got in one last jab as the elevator doors began to close. "You know, Red, there is such a thing as too many acorns," the special agent stated, crossing his muscled arms over his chest.

Amber brown eyes narrowed at them in a deadpan look. "Not to a squirrel. Do svidanya, penguins."

* * *

 _Note: A heartfelt review inspired me to work on this story again. So many ideas, so little time._


End file.
